"Wow--that was a disaster!", I continue to Bilta, "I can't believe that I dropped another hotdog on my lap, yo!" » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“Wow–that was a disaster!“, I continue to Bilta, “I can’t believe that I dropped another hotdog on my lap, yo!”

“Wow–that was a disaster!“, I continue to Bilta, “I can’t believe that I dropped another hotdog on my lap, yo!”

“Yeah, boss”, he replies as he shrugs, “you have butter fingers, today.”

“Butter shut the fuck up, Bilta”, I reply as I grab a digital.serviette from the table in the cafe by the beach, “and, now I have mayonaise all over my pants–people are going to think things!”

“It will be alright”, Bilta replies as he reaches over and grabs another napkin.

“It’s ok–I can do this myself”, I continue speaking as I roll my eyes, “you dare me to eat three hotdogs, at the same time, with my eyes blindfolded and only using my left hand and now look at me!”

“You almost did it”, he responds as he sighs, “you would have been a legend!”

“You would have a fist in your face”, I reply as I shrug, “but, anyways… can we stop the game of truth-or-dare, now?  It’s, also, kinda weird for two grown men–some dude and his velociraptor–to be doing these things, in public; or, just in general.”

“I like to have fun.”

“We, clearly, have extremely different ideas of a good time, Bilta.”

I shrug as I wipe up the mayonaise from my teflon pants; it’s just never good when I’m around this guy, yo.

“Like”, I continue speaking as I pick up another napkin, “you got good research and all–but, this is what you discovered at the digital.fair? A fucking hotdog eating contest?”

“Yeah, boss”, Bilta replies as he shrugs, “they were like–loving it!  I considered entering but I was too shy, yo.”

“It would have been a great opportunity to do more market research, Bilta”, I respond as I shrug, “next time, take a chance–enter a hotdog eating contest.  Fuck it–why not?  One life–live it!”

“I don’t know much about those competitions, boss–I don’t think that I would do that well.”

“Well–if you never enter the competition, you never win.  If, you don’t win, you are a non-winner. What does that make you, yo?”

“A loser?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, loser”, I continue speaking as I place the dirty napkin on the small wooden table, “you are just a non-winner.  Not everyone wins, like me–just accept it.  It’s how it goes–you can always lose.  You can’t always fail.  You can’t always smile.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Things change–winners today are the losers of tomorrow; and, vice-versa.  Just wait–patience and discernment go far in determing who is ahead in the future.  Rather, then, looking to be #1 now, right now, let it go–it’s ok to #2 sometimes if it puts you in better position for what’s ahead tomorrow.”

“So I want to go #2?”

“I’m not saying that, Bilta”, I reply as I continue wiping the mess on my pants, “but… don’t consider yourself a failure if you don’t win, or get what you want, today–you always have tomorrow to also be a loser.”

“That sounds inspirational and shit, boss”, Bilta replies as he hands me a digital.napkin.

“I do the comedy circuit on random Wednesday’s in a shady part of the dark side of the other town where I don’t go, often.”