"So... I have a special somebody in my life, digital.Bilfty2.1, yo", I quickly reply, "me--I'm that special someone in my life." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“So… I have a special somebody in my life, digital.Bilfty2.1, yo”, I quickly reply, “me–I’m that special someone in my life.”

“So… I have a special somebody in my life, digital.Bilfty2.1, yo”, I quickly reply, “me–I’m that special someone in my life.”

“Did you spend all night practicing that in the mirror, again?”, Bilfty replies as he smooths back the hair in his wig, “like… that is kinda lame, yo.”

“No”, I respond as I wink in the small mirror in the bathroom in the cafe by the beach, “that would, clearly, be so strange a thing to do!”

I turn my head to Bilfty; back to the mirror, I wink again at me.

“Hello sexy”, I continue speaking to myself.

“Are you talking to me?”, Bilfty replies as he shrugs, “I mean… I don’t disagree with the basic premise of what you are saying but I think that it is strange; a couple guys talking that way in private in the bathroom.”

“Why do you think that I am constantly talking to you, Bilfty?”

“Um”, he replies as he rolls his eyes, “because there is no one else here so clearly you would be talking to me, yo.”

“I talk to myself sometimes”, I respond as I adjust my green striped tie, “I like to remind myself how incredible that I am.  Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader–pump yourself up with your self-talk.  Put some better ideas into your head.”

“How does that work?”, he responds as he turns his head to me, “like… what would I say, yo?”

“Well”, I continue speaking as I turn my head to him, “you are quite hideous so you would need a lot of self-talk and, also, probably a medication.”

“Are you guys done, yet?”, Bilta exclaims as he opens the door to the bathroom, “the whole cafe can hear what you two are talking about.”

He turns his head to Bilfty; back to me, he rolls his eyes.

“So anyways, boss”, Bilta continues speaking as he holds the bathroom door open, “your coffee is getting cold and I’m getting bored.”

“Anyways”, I reply to Bilta as I roll my eyes, “you didn’t buy a ticket to attend our event so I think that you should go and we’ll see you back at the table in a jiffy, yo.”

Bilta sighs; closes the door, I turn my head to Bilfty.

“So like I was saying before that guy interrupted us”, I continue speaking as I turn my head to the mirror, “talk to yourself in the mirror about how handsome you are–but, also, you, pretty clearly, have clinical depression so you should be on a doctor prescribed medication.”

I cough; I turn my head back to him.

“So say something like:

Hello sexy! Nice to see you–you look great in your new clothes.”

“But I’m not wearing new clothes, yo”, digital.Bilfty2.1 replies to me as he shakes his head, “this is the same jacket as yesterday.”

“Well then”, I respond as I shrug, “maybe, you should invest in some new ropa–consider the small changes that you can make to your appearance that can make you feel better about yourself.  Don’t spend a lot of money–but, maybe there a couple areas that you can address. A small change, here and there, can have a huge impact given enough time–make changes and learn patience; many a good thing has come to the person that has developed a sense of timing. Plant these seeds in your head about your greatness–then, wait for them to grow.”

“How long will that take, yo?”, he replies as he turns his head to the mirror in the bathroom, “I don’t want to hang out in this bathroom all day, yo.”

“Well”, I respond as I turn and take a step to leave the small space, “you can leave when you want to go–ultimately, it, your actions and your life, is, only, a result of your, direct, choices.”

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