"Hola mi princesa!", I continue to Bilta as I shrug, "does your digital.whine fiesta come with queso? Now are we, yo, a wolfpack?" » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“Hola mi princesa!”, I continue to Bilta as I shrug, “does your digital.whine fiesta come with queso? Now are we, yo, a wolfpack?”

“Hola mi princesa!”, I continue to Bilta as I shrug, “does your digital.whine fiesta come with queso? Now are we, yo, a wolfpack?”

“I want to be in a wolfpack, yo!”, Bilta replies as he place the Oaxaca.queso on the table, “that’s why I got the special cheese.”

“It special be better then last time”, I continue as I roll my eyes, “you said it was from Chiapas–but, it clearly was not.”

I grab a little piece of cheese off the platter; I put it in my mouth; I chew.

“Yeah–wow!”, I exclaim as I roll my eyes back, “this is good–great. Oh-my-God, I love this cheese. It is so good–I can’t stop.”

Bilta shrugs.

“Are you for real, yo?”, he asks as he rolls his eyes, “you seem to be over-dramatizing your affection for my store bought cheese.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I sigh, “I mean–it’s good.  Not the best–like that random store that sells cheese at strange times from the alleyway.  But, all the same, it’s good. I think that you should make some sweet ass quesadillas, yo.”

I sigh.

“I was thinking more that we would eat mulitas”, he replies as he turns on the gas.stove, “I watched a digital.TV show from the Earth log’s yesterday and it got me all inspired.”

“So like anyways”, I continue as I reach forward and grab another piece of cheese off the table in my living room, “we should just order a pizza ’cause that’s what a real wolfpack does. But, back to what I was talking about, we have a mission on Planet GDHS.”

Bilta leans forward and grabs a piece of cheese.

“I’m listening boss”, he replies as he takes a bite of it, “does it involve tennis shoes, yo?”

I shrug.

“I… no… what? Why would you ask that?”

“Because I got some sweet shoes for working out in the gym”, Bilta replies as he slides his foot to me and lifts up the leg of his trousers.

“Hey–wow! Nice shoes–nice socks”, I respond as I slowly nod my head, “but… no, we are not going to be needing tennis shoes–you are going to dress up as a princess and me and digital.Bilfty2.1 will be your horses.  We are invited to participate in the St. Wolli’s Day parade.”

“Is that the day when everyone wears blue blazers and yells compliments to random strangers that they pass in the road, yo?”

“Yeah, obviously”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “which other one would it be? So anyways, I have order a small carriage off the digital.internet along with two horse costumes and a princess dress.  You are the princess, Bilta–clearly.”

I pause for dramatic effect.

“And”, I continue speaking as the awkward silence passes, “me and digital.Bilfty2.1 will be your horses.”

“What does that mean?”, Bilta asks as he grabs more cheese.

“Yeah–it’s pretty self explanatory.  Like, we are just going to go and walk the 0.837335 kilometer parade route and then we have a small party afterwards where there will be light dancing and, possibly, a moon bounce.”

“Oh-my-God!”, Bilta yells, “there’s a fucking moon bounce.”

“Yeah–I mean, we’re not heathens and this is a party so clearly there will be a moon bounce, yo.”

I shrug; why do I have to constantly explain everything to this dude, velociraptor.

“So”, I continue speaking as I sigh, “the supplies should arrive in 0.93284648 nanoseconds and we will leave. Wake up, digital.Bilfty2.1 and tell him what’s going on.”

Bilta turns his head to digital.Bilfty2.1 asleep on the couch in my living room.

“Hey!”, Bilta yells as he pushes Bilfty on the shoulder, “you get to be a horse.”



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