"It's like a digital.magician creating a small distraction to perform the quick sleight of hand; and, then--he disappears, yo." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“It’s like a digital.magician creating a small distraction to perform the quick sleight of hand; and, then–he disappears, yo.”

“It’s like a digital.magician creating a small distraction to perform the quick sleight of hand; and, then–he disappears, yo.”

“That’s interesting, yo”, I reply to Bilta as I pick up the hammer, “so… like, anyways… were you going to help us finish this project or just crack jokes all day?”

“I am helping”, he replies as he picks up the box of digital.nails, “I am keeping the moral high.”

I sigh.

“Speaking of staying high”, I respond as I roll my eyes, “you put that board too high and it doesn’t cover the bottom of the window–it’s not going to help much in the hurricane.”

“I’ll just put another one lower to cover the exposed part”, he explains as he sets the nails on the small shelf in the living room of the shack in the middle of town, “it will be fine–a.o.k.”

“Not really, yo–we didn’t bring that many supplies.  We can’t just throw them up so haphazardly–I took precise measurements and did several important digital.calculations. We only have a margin of error in surplus of 15%.  We can’t just take such liberties–you need to be more careful.  We don’t have lumber to make, but, a couple mistakes.”

I pause; I reach down and pick up my soda; I take a sip.

“You make one mistake, and, your percentage to complete the project decreases–we need to make this project a success.  It may seem small, but there is a lot riding on it.”

Bilta turns his head to me; digital.Bilfty2.1 turns his head to me.

I sigh.

“Please–stay focused on work”, I continue speaking as I set down my soda, “try to board up the windows in the bedroom, Bilta–me and Bilfty will finish up the living room.”

“I’m useful”, Bilta replies as he picks up his digital.tool.belt, “and, also, handsome.”

“Well”, I respond as I roll my eyes, “keep working and you will also still be employed, yo.”

“What’s that mean, boss?”, he replies as he grab a handful of galvanized nails and a 24″x18″ pressure treated piece of wood.

“Nothing–move your hammer like your mouth, and we should be done, pretty, quickly.”

He closes his mouth; he turns around; takes a step towards the bedroom, moments later, we hear the sound of hammering.

I sigh.

“About time that he did something useful, yo”, I say to Bilfty, “he’s not good for much but consuming–doesn’t produce much.”

“Like, you are any better”, Bilfty replies as he hands me another piece of wood, “you mostly, just, send us to go make money for you.”

“Delegation and over-sight are exhausting”, I respond as I wipe the sweat from my brow.

“Not sure why mental work makes you sweat”, Bilfty replies as he shrugs, “but, anyways, this should be the last window–and, Bilta should be done in a moment.  Want to go grab a pizza, yo?”

“Why do you, only, think in food?”, I reply as I hammer the nail into the board.

I take a step back; I’m good at hammering and shit.

“So anyways”, I continue speaking to Bilfty, “yeah, sure.  This has been a fun adventure–we’ll do a company trip to go grab some pizza.”

“That sounds great”, Bilta yells from the bedroom.

“Oh-my-God”, I exclaim back to him, “Bilta, do you understand that no you asked your opinion.”



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