10 May “We’ll settle this like men, Bilta”, I continue speaking as I pull out the digital.coin, “heads–you lose, and tails–I win, yo.”
“That doesn’t seem fair, boss”, Bilta replies as he takes a bite of the pizza, “I feel like you win both ways.”
“You know, Bilta”, I speak as I shrug, “I didn’t make the rules–I am merely a pawn in the game of chess that is life, yo.”
“No”, he continues speaking as he picks up a napkin, “I’m pretty sure that you just made up this game and also just made up the rules.”
“Bilta–we have no time for small talk. I’m just going to flip the coin and we’ll see who is paying for the pizza today.”
“Boss”, he replies as he shrugs, “you do this same joke every time and I always have to pay. Why don’t we just split the cost of the pizza?”
“Men don’t do that, Bilta”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “like… are we men or not men, yo?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about”, he responds as he leans back in his chair at the small parlor.pizza by the beach, “but… I’ll play along with you, this time.”
He takes another bite of his pizza; I take a sip of my soda.
“I’m glad that you have finally decided to come around to my way of thinking, Bilta”, I explain as I flip the coin in the air.
The coin lands on it’s side.
“Oh-my-God!”, Bilta yells as he leans forward.
“What the fuck?”, I respond as I stare at the coin, “how is that even possible, yo?”
“So, boss”, Bilta continues speaking as he leans back, “looks like I won this time and you are paying, yo.”
“No, Bilta–not so fast. This is an anomaly that’s not in the rules–we need to make another rule for this situation, albeit strange; for when this happens–what to do.”
“You can’t make a rule then proactively place it in to effect”, Bilta replies as he shrugs, “that’s obvious. I am the winner.”
“Why would you be the winner because a new situation has appeared?”, I continue speaking as I shrug, “that doesn’t make sense–we will make a rule but don’t act so fast like you are automatically the winner.”
“What’s the new rule for when the coin lands on it’s side, yo?”
“We’ll call it the side rule”, I speak as I rub my chin, “when it happens this way–we will flip the coin again.”
“That’s kinda boring–it’s such an interesting situation. I feel like we should do something special to mark this moment–like punch you in the face.”
“I, normally, don’t like your suggestions, Bilta, yo”, I reply as I shrug, “but… if that’s what you want.”
I punch Bilta in the face; he falls backwards out of his chair; he shakes his head; he gets back in his chair; moments later, he takes a sip of his soda; he then proceeds to punch me in the face; I fall back out of my chair; I rub my chin; he has a wicked left hook.
Moments later, I get back in my chair; I turn my head back to the coin; still on it’s side, I start speaking.
“Ok”, I continue speaking as I shrug, “so like… actually my idea was just that we would have to finish our sodas when this happened. I am trying to get away from five finger fury of justice to the face–I want to be more of a gentleman.”
“That’s great, boss”, Bilta replies as he rubs his hands together, “so I guess, next time, we’ll just finish our drinks.”