"You'll have to constantly guard yourself against the good person trying to be cool; a nice person who wants to suck." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“You’ll have to constantly guard yourself against the good person trying to be cool; a nice person who wants to suck.”

“You’ll have to constantly guard yourself against the good person trying to be cool; a nice person who wants to suck.”

I shrug; you know–whatever.

“I mean, Bilta”, I continue speaking as I take a sip of soda, “you have to just let it go–don’t let some random cocksucker that you have never met, and, will never see again, ruin your day, yo.”

“Yeah”, he replies as he sighs, “but, it really got under my skin–it hurt.”

“You can’t focus or stay stuck in a moment–especially one outside your control, Bilta.”

“He said that my green polka dot jumpsuit was lame!”

“You know–he’s not wrong.  I mean–it’s true.  Why you acting like that’s not true? He shattered your false illusion and left you with no cover and in public.  It hurts; it’s rude; accept it.  Let it go, yo.”

“I can’t.”

“You are only hurting yourself”, I reply as I shrug, “if you want to spend your life getting revenge against someone you don’t know by hurting yourself, no one will stop you.  It’s your life–you can self-destruct in private alone, as much as you want; that’s your privilege.  You can ruin your life–you can destroy yourself, if you want.  That’s how it goes–what do you want from me?”

“I just want a friend, boss.”

“Yeah”, I reply as I shrug and grab a handful of digitalpapitas, “I want a cold soda and a couple hotdogs–doesn’t mean anything: a desire, without an action, is a whisper in the breeze, yo.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means, Bilta, that it’s gone–the moment is lost.  There’s nothing that you can do to go back and change things–you have to accept it.  It’s rude and wrong; and, that’s how life goes, yo.  There’s nothing that you can do to change things–maybe change how you go out in public.  If people keep talking about your green polka dot jumpsuit–consider wearing something different when you’re out, Bilta?”

“But”, he replies as he shrugs and grabs a handful of papitas, “I really like it.”

“That’s the price that you will have to pay to express your individuality–you’ll have to constantly fight against the prevailing wind.  It will, eventually, be more energy to be unique then to fit in–pick your battles and where you want to stand out.  If you spend all your energy and time fighting battles that don’t matter, you won’t have the capacity to do the shit that you want–the shit that matters, yo.  Is that the fight that you want your life to be about–the green polka dot jumpsuit?”

“Yes”, he replies as he puts a handful of digitalpapitas into his mouth, “I mean… you know–maybe, not?  I’m not sure that’s the soapbox that I want to stand on–like, I don’t know if it really matters, that much?  Is it really worth it to express myself, if it means that I need to constantly spend energy protecting myself?”

He pauses; he takes a sip of his cold soda; this is a pretty delicious soda.

“Yeah”, he continues speaking as he turns his head back to the digitalTV, “maybe–I think that there’s other battles to fight?”



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