03 May DIGITAL.FLY ON THE LARGE WALL: stories and tales of heroism and adventure from the other side of the news story, yo // fictional hear-say
“It’s not bad for the name of a blog, Bilta”, I reply as I shrug, “if, that’s your thing–then, whatever?”
I sip my coffee.
“You want to hear the name of my blog?”
“Not particularly, boss”, Bilta repiles as he sips his soda in the cafe by the beach, “it’s going to be rude, right?”
“Why do you say that?”
I take another sip of my coffee; I turn my digital.laptop to him; he looks at the screen; he gasps.
BILTA: the story of a cocksucker and, some other random things, that are occasionally helpful, yo
“Why, boss? Why?”, Bilta replies as he rolls his eyes, “it’s so unnecessary!”
“Bilta–when it comes to blogging, nothing is, really, off limits–remember that.”
“When it comes to the title, I certainly can’t forget it.”
“So anyways”, I continue speaking as I turn the laptop back towards me, “I’m just messing with you–I write about robots and shit, yo.”
I hit the erase button on the keyboard; the screen flashes yellow; I start typing; I turn the computer back towards to Bilta.
“This is the real title”, I explain as I tilt the digital.screen up more.
What He Said Then: yo–honest stories of real courage and bravery
“It’s ok, yo.”
“Thanks–whatever. I don’t care, yo.”
I take a sip of coffee; I lean back in my plastic recliner.
“Yeah”, I continue speaking as I lean forward and start typing, “I got the domain digital.online last night and then had a designer copy your blog design for 200 pesos. I’ve been writing the blog all day–I have six posts, already!”
“You copied my design, boss?”, Bilta replies as he shakes his head, “you fucking thief!”
“Everyone does it, yo”, I continue speaking as I shrug, “it’s, like, just, how it’s done.”
“It’s not right!”
“It’s not about it being right–it’s the way that we do things, Bilta.”
“Find another way, boss.”
“Yeah, whatever–so Bilta, you ready for the next mission that you are going on? Let’s call it–Mission KNCIDY–because, that’s the next planet that you are going to visit. Your pastry making skills were excellent–I got an email this morning with a great recommendation about you and your dessert making skills. You are going to parlay your new cooking expertise to join the french.toast.assembly line manufacturing plant there. You are going to be #84. I forget, exactly, what you do–but something about sprinkling powered sugar as they come out of the deep.fryer.”
“Sounds lame, boss?”
“Sounds like easy money, Bilta?”
“I like to think for you–but, mostly me. You get half the money that comes in on this project–we’re a team so it’s 50/50 on all the money that comes in.”
“But”, Bilta replies as he sips his coffee, “I do 100% of the work.”
“Bilta!”, I respond as I shrug, “I answered a fucking email yesterday–don’t be such a fucking crybaby, yo.”
He pauses; he takes another sip of his soda.
“When do I leave on the mission, boss?”
“When do you want to make the money?”