A Brief Observation on The Utter Absurdity of Average Humans Drinking Pastuerized And Homogenized Dairy Products, Yo » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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A Brief Observation on The Utter Absurdity of Average Humans Drinking Pastuerized And Homogenized Dairy Products, Yo

A Brief Observation on The Utter Absurdity of Average Humans Drinking Pastuerized And Homogenized Dairy Products, Yo

“Oh! Bilta”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “you are the 10 millionth blogger to write about the working conditions of the farming industry, yo.”

“I want to make a difference, yo.”

“Well, then”, I continue speaking as I take a sip of my soda, “don’t buy that shit.”

“I don’t.”

“There you go–you have made a difference.”

“But”, he replies as he grabs a handful of digital.papitas and turns to look at the digital.TV, “I want to stop it all together.”

“They, the people running and working there, have families to support.”

I roll my eyes; I shrug; fucking hippy, yo.

“So like””, I continue speaking as I grab a handful of palomitas, “consider the bigger picture; not just the big picture, yo.”

“Like what?”

“Well–if they, the people there, had better jobs, then they would not work there anymore.  Right?”

“What’s that mean, yo?”

“It means that it’s a business–consider it that way.  People have responsibilities; don’t forget that.”

“Yeah–but there’s a better way.”

“It’s like me punching you in the face, Bilta”, I reply as I roll my eyes and look at the TV, “there’s myriad options–the punch in the face is the best, though.”

“It’s not wrong–I just want another way.”

I pause; this velociraptor is fucking annoying, yo.

“Well then–do something about it”, I reply as I turn my head to look out the window; six hummingbirds… I want a fucking hot chocolate, yo.

I pause; I pour hot sauce on the palomitas; I shove them in my mouth.

“So like”, I continue speaking as I chew the food, “make better jobs–make better or different opportunities.  Man goes where he is needed–make him needed somewhere else.  Pick a better place for him to be–he will go, yo.”

“Like where?”

“You know”, I reply as I shrug, “not here sounds like a great place for him to go.”

“Where?”

“There.”

“There where?”

“Why the fuck are you so annoying, Bilta?”

“It’s my programming or some shit, boss”, he replies as he grabs another handful of digital.papitas, “like I’m a contrarian-a-saurus.”

“You’re a pain-in-the-ass, really”, I continue speaking as I roll my eyes, “what did the five-fingers say to the velociraptor, yo?”

“I don’t know, boss.”

“Keep talking and you’re going to find out with a face full of fist-a-cuffs.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Do you have an off button, Bilta?”

“I don’t think so, yo.”

I sigh; he sighs; I turn my head back to the digital.TV; I put my feet up on the small wooden table; I settle into the couch; I lean forward and pick up my soda; I take a sip–it’s refreshing… not overly… but somewhat.  I wonder what the secret formula for this soda is?

“Hey Bilta”, I start talking as I turn my head to him, “you know how to figure out a secret food recipe–like, you got any programming for that?”

“I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about, yo.”

“Yeah–welcome to my world”, I reply as I roll my eyes, “but… no, really.  This soda–what’s the secret formula?”



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