"It's weird--I've never been, so, popular", Bilta replies as the digital.man takes his photo, "I'm going to start a new pose." » Y G H M®: the stories, yo
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“It’s weird–I’ve never been, so, popular”, Bilta replies as the digital.man takes his photo, “I’m going to start a new pose.”

“It’s weird–I’ve never been, so, popular”, Bilta replies as the digital.man takes his photo, “I’m going to start a new pose.”

“Relax, Bilta”, I reply as the man snaps another picture of Bilta, “it’s juse ’cause velociraptors never come to this Planet–your visit is strange and unique.

“I feel strange.”

“Say”, I continue speaking as I roll my eyes, “that you feel weird, not strange.  Weird describes things; strange is used to describe people–pick your words better.  You are not a thing–you are a velociraptor.  If you give things their proper name, they will have proper value.”

“What’s that mean, boss?”

“It means that calling a velociraptor that random dude makes you behave like that random dude.”

“Um… ok?”

“How does that random dude behave?”

Bilta pauses; he sips his soda.

“I don’t know–is this a trick question, yo?”

“Exactly!”, I reply as I sip my coffee, “you don’t know how that random dude behaves and so you don’t know what to do–but, what if you instead were calling yourself by your proper name.  Then, you would act and exhibit behavior, more, appropriate. This is why I normally call you Bilta and not assholeI mean to your face.”

I chuckle.

“You’re such a jerk, boss”, he continues speaking as he swabs the velociraptor fossil in the snowboard park, “hey… you seen digital.Bilfty2.1, recently?”

“Um… it’s been a couple hours since he left to hit the double black diamond snowboard park–not sure how that went?”


“It’s like trying to eat a whole cake because you feel hungry–he isn’t ready for that.  I’m not sure what he is thinking?”

“I’m thinking it was great!”, he replies as he taps me on the shoulder, “just got back from the sweet moguls.”

“Oh?”, I reply as I shrug, “that sounds like fun–didn’t know that you were that good at snowboarding.”

“Yeah”, he continues speaking as he takes his digital.goggles off, “it took a couple nanoseconds to get the hang–some random dude told me to switch feet; I was goofy.”

“I don’t disagree with that”, I reply as I shrug.

“But, anyways”, Bilfty continues speaking as he takes his foot out of the binder, “once, I realized that–it was a walk in the park, yo.”

“So you got the hang of it, yo?”, I reply as I turn my head back to Bilta, “we’re almost done here.”

“Oh–ok?”, Bilfty replies as he unzips his red.jacket, “you get really hot hitting up the runs all day.”

He takes off his snowboard.gloves; places them on the ground.

“Hey, boss, Bilta”, he keeps speaking as he lowers his face mask, “I’m going to go for a hot chocolate–you guys want anything?”

“Yeah”, I reply as I shrug, “I’m famished–pick up a candy bar for me.”

I turn my head to Bilta.

“You want anything from the store, Bilta?”

“Yeah”, he replies as he shrugs, “a little bit of patience so I can finish this project–I’m almost done.  We can grab a proper dinner on the way back, in a bit.  But… no, I’m fine, right now.  I just want to finish getting these samples.”

He pulls another digital.swab out of his small digital.bag; wipes the tip on the velociraptor femur; puts it in the small test tube; sighs.

“I think this is the last swab that I need”, he continues speaking as he turns his head to me, “this should be plenty of data.”

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