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“it takes a long time to get used to feeling good–to that be your default, go-to, existance. feeling good is a change.”

i continue speaking to the writer as i take a sip of coffee.

“you´re prob used to feeling bad–that´s what you know and what you fall back on.”

“i don´t think so?”

“if you are not used to feeling good–how can you know?”

“maybe i am confused–what´s it mean to feel good?”

“it means you stop eating when you want; it means you stop judging or criticising and let go of others; it means you don´t cling or attach to pleasure; it means you can appreciate a cool breeze on your sweaty body; it means that you can enjoy–just being.”

“i´m being able to start understanding you.”

“it means you have peace with the present moment without needing anything, specifically.  i mean if you are hungry, you want to eat; if you are tired, you want to sleep; but, you have control over it, and your brain; your actions are a byproduct of consciencious effort, not reactive; you do what you want–but, you don´t need to control others or anything; you are fine with how things are. make sense?”

“kinda”, the writer replies as he turns his head to look out the window, “rather then view myself as lacking, something, i am content.”

“yeah”, i reply as i take another sip of coffee, “i think that´s a good way to say it–you are content with what happened, what is happening, and what you, reasonably, feel will happen in the future.”

“it´s just nothing.”

{excerpt from Y G H M}

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